This piece is fun and playful because it uses such a wide variety of sounds.But it starts to drag on when you use clips from the same person and 0:40 and again at 1:30. I'd suggest cutting one of his bits, and finding an interview with someone else to fill the space. I think that you could interview more people and make this piece a bit longer if you'd like.I really really loved the music that you used during the naming of mnemonic devices part. I think the ending could be stronger. Maybe you could muse more on that unended sentence: Nine... nine what? What else is out there? Imagine not knowing about pluto at all, or imagine that there are other planets that have gotten the boot that we don't know about.
I really like this piece and I think there are a lot of really strong aspects. I agree with Margaret that the ending could be stronger. I also don't think your need the interviews that you put in. I was thrown off by your appearance as both narrator and interviewee because your tones were so different and I don't think that either interview bring up any new points. I wonder what would happen if you focused on just the home tape you have (which is so wonderful) and your narrative...and maybe a few found clips, because I did enjoy the use of the news story. Also, from your recording of yourself as a kid, do you even say pluto? was that cut out in your editing? Because if you don't say pluto, you might have to find a way to either explain it or make it more part of the piece.
Caleb:Just to follow up on last week's conversation about your piece.Again, I think the strongest tape is of you and your Dad. I'd be more interested in hearing your showcase this little piece of personal time travel. How can you bring out and elaborate on what's interesting to you in that little bit of tape? You may want to split it up into two or three chunks. You might want to do some free writing or have someone interview you about it. You also mentioned the possibility of interviewing your parents. What do they hear and imagine when they listen...Again, I think you can let go of Pluto ....and really expand on this little audio gem.Look forward to hearing how you develop this--Stephanie