Thursday, March 14, 2013

Night Stories Round 2

This is super roughly cut, but I tried splitting the bits of the stories up and interweaving them. Does this work or does it get too confusing? Does the clock/times still make sense? I haven't had a chance to find a better clock sound yet, but I'm planning on it!


  1. I like the mashup! It keeps the listener's brain working in a way that the previous version didn't. It also had a great ratio. of narrative/reflective

    The mash-ups were particularly effective when they were talking about the same subjects. (walking, the experience of fear, understanding, etc)

    I kind of lost the clock noise, eventually. It doesn't make too much sense once the stories stop being about the progression of night. Maybe brainstorm some other non-clock related noises that would either help transition or highlight.

    Nice draft!

  2. Paula,
    I think there's a lot of potential in intercutting the stories. It has the effect of "framing" images and moments, some of which I was able to hear more clearly in this version. In general, I think the piece needs more breathing room, for example by giving more space at the end of each passage so we can linger with an image. I agree with Mickey about how some passages resonate nicely with the beginning of the other. I also agree about experimenting with other non-clock sounds. Think also about how you can work with the pacing. For example the 3rd voice (talking about the caller with dementia) goes on for a long time in comparison to the first two speakers. Think about how you can introduce her more briefly. Do you have a written transcript? That would be very helpful at this point. This will help weed out any repetitions and help you parcel out the spoken passages. Let's take a look. Keep going. This piece will be powerful to listen to "under the stars."

  3. I enjoy the mashups! I think this piece still needs some work, but is heading in a good direction. There are moments when the change in room tone is distracting (anytime after the third voice speaks, in particular). I also think you need to cut down the length while also adding some silence in between speakers; writing out a transcript would definitely help you turn this into a great final iteration!