Saturday, March 23, 2013
Planetarium Draft 3
Here's the most recent version of my Planetarium piece.
In the beginning of the piece, I want the audience to blindly trust the narrator. They at first believe that she has only good intentions. But as the piece goes on, I'd like them to begin to question the narrator's mental stability and motives. By the end, they should recognize the narrator as a kind of cult leader.
In the book that these phrases come from, the reader can almost immediately recognize that the author is a bit of a lunatic. I like the idea of letting that realization come about more slowly in a sound piece.
A concern last week was that the piece was too long, or that the music became monotonous.
I think that with this new arrangement of phrases, that problem has been fixed, but let me know if you think otherwise, or if you have any ideas for fixing it up!
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Margaret,
ReplyDeleteThis sounds much tighter! I wonder it it might be interesting to bring in the music after the first spoken phrase, just as you end with the voice without music. It might suggest the way we are being lured into this other "dimension."
Stephanie