Hannah: Black and White and On My Patio #2

Hey guys,
So I added a new ending and was wondering what you think about it? I plan on going back and re-recording all of it together (and fixing up/tweaking the beginning) because I think you can hear the difference in the takes. In terms of the narrative arc do you think it is effective and interesting? I took out the bit about the phone and the cows in the distance for the sake of time but maybe I could keep that and lose something else somewhere? Interested in hearing your feedback.

Hannah