For Zak and Kyle- Boil (Final Project) Draft 2

This week, I rewrote my poem, trying to make it so that is has a stronger sense of a specific place.
 I also experimented with new melodies for the clips of singing that are to accompany the reading.
The pieces starts off describing a morning scene, and then transitions into a night scene.
I am wondering if these two parts are too separate, and if they might be better as separate, shorter pieces?
I also wonder if the piece would benefit from some kind of soft rhythmic instrumental sound that could consistently be heard behind the reading and singing.
Looking forward to any kind of feedback!