Here is the draft for my final project. It's based off of a personal essay I wrote a couple months ago.
It's in very rough stages, but I'd like some feedback.
I plan on interweaving more clips like the ones from the introduction into the entire piece - having different layers. I'm wondering if you think it's a good idea to do so, or if I should focus more on the actual story being told. I also don't want to come across as being.. I don't know. I don't want you to feel sorry for me, or have a negative opinion of me. I don't want to sound cocky, but I'm trying to be as honest as possible in this piece. This is how I felt and what I thought. Maybe there are different ways I could word it, if it does sound like I'm full of myself or something. I don't know. Feedback?